


Unknown

by omb



Category: Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, BAMF!Phil, Blood, Blowjobs, BoyxBoy, Can't think of anymore tags, Depressed!Dan, Drug Use, Eventual Smut, F/M, Hate Sex, Highschool AU, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Parental Fighting, Phan - Freeform, Phil is 6'2, Phone Sex, Self-Harm, Sex, Sexting, Smut, Some Fluff, Suicidal Thoughts/Actions, Text Messages, beaten, bullied, bully!phil, dan is 5'4, handjobs, pastel!dan, punk!phil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-07-25 08:51:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7526302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omb/pseuds/omb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan’s family moves around a lot, but they finally think they have found somewhere where work won’t move them again. Dan has never really had good friends because of the constant moving and changing schools. Since this was his seventh new school he knew how to be the new kid. But he was different from most people to begin with. His appearance, how he acts, his sexuality, and his view on the world. So you can assume he’d been bullied before. When he arrives to this new school he doesn’t have that hard of a time making friends, but the bullies are awful there. They beat him and call him terrible names. But thru all of this, Dan keeps getting these texts from a unknown number. They seem to be the only thing keeping him going.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Impression

**Author's Note:**

> (If I left out any triggers plz tell me)

Dan’s family never really stayed in one place for too long, and that was about to change. Both of his parents got good money, meaning they were pretty rich. But not too rich. They bought a decent sized house, but the bigger the house the more empty it felt. His parents were never home, they both had jobs that came before Dan. So being in that big house alone was very lonely. He had never really had close friends, why would he? If he was just going to move. He was always bullied a lot too. Now Dan was in his new room getting ready for his first day of school. He decided going full out today with his outfit, so he just grabbed his white skinny jeans, a baby pink jumper that was slightly oversized, and matching high tops. He usually wore flower crowns, but maybe not on the first day. He was about done straightening his hair when his mum started yelling for him.

“Daniel James Howell! You’re going to be late for your first day! You haven’t even eaten yet! I have pancakes down here!” She called up the stairs. Dan groaned and unplugged his straightener and grabbed his bag. He did like his new room, it was big and full of pastel colours and it even had it’s own little patio. He hurried down the stairs into the kitchen where he saw a note on the counter.

_Sorry I had to leave for work, you were taking too long! It’s a short walk. -xox mum_

Dan wasn’t even completely sure that he knew the way to the school from his house. He hadn’t even been the school yet, so he doesn’t even know what it looks like! He quickly ate some pancakes and went out the door, there was other people walking to school so he could always just awkwardly follow them. When he got fully outside he saw one of his neighbors. He was a lot taller than Dan and basically the opposite. He had black hair, blue eyes, his hair was quite similar to Dan’s it just went the other way, he was wearing black ripped skinny jeans, a muse t-shirt, and black converse. He even had snake bites. Dan thought if he kept staring at this boy it’d get awkward so he started walking. It was pretty chilly outside, mainly because of the wind blowing cold air up his jumper. As he’s walking thru the breeze, it slows him down a bit as Dan hates being cold and that guy bumps into him.

“What where you’re going, yeah?” He snaps and keeps walking. Dan just wished he could shrink down and not be seen. He waits till the boy is a good distance in front of him before he starts to walk again. Dan followed to boy from a far, trying to get to the school. He was scared to arrive there. Yeah sure he had been the new kid a bunch of times, but what would the people be like there. If they were all like that boy that bumped into him maybe they wouldn’t be that good. The last school he was at was by far the worst when it came to bullying, they would beat the shit out of him and call him the worst names. _Faggot, Queer, Gay lord, Homo_. Dan knew he was gay, but what the fuck did it have to do with them? Before Dan knew it he was arriving at the school. It was big and intimidating. There was a bunch of kids in the front lawn, their parents giving them hugs and sending them off. And then there was Dan, his parent left early for work. He walked up to the pavement and looked around confusingly. After standing there for about two minutes looking lost as hell someone tapped Dan’s shoulder.

“Are you new here?” someone said, Dan turned around to see a boy that was taller than him and had slightly curly hair. He had bright blue eyes and a big smile. Dan thought he looked nice enough.

“Um, yes…” Dan mumbled, he was the best person when it came to talking to people.

“I thought so! You looked completely lost! I’m Pj by the way. Are you trying to find the main office?” Pj asked. Dan nodded so Pj motioned for him to follow. This Pj guy didn’t even note about Dan’s appearance, so Dan took that as a good sign. That was the first thing that people always noticed about Dan. How he looked and dressed. Dan tried to act like he didn’t care because that’s how he liked to look. Soon they were at the main office and Dan went in to get his class schedule. 

“Do you want to look at my classes and see if were in some of the same ones?” Pj asked.

“Yeah, sure that would be helpful I guess,” Dan stuttered. Pj pulled out his paper and held them next to each other, examining. 

“Looks like we’re in all the classes except English, you’re taking a year up English class? Dang smartie!” Pj giggled. Dan smiled and then was pulled a sign where their locker numbers were posted, “Okay so it looks like your locker is 201… right next to Phil Lester’s….” Pj’s voice started to faze out a bit.

“Who’s Phil Lester? Why do you look so uneasy,” Dan’s face was plastered with worry. Pj gave him a weak smile before looking back at the paper.

“He’s a year up from us, he is… well you’ll find out. Just try to avoid him, okay?” Pj sounded worried so Dan just nodded and they to search for Dan’s locker. Once they found it, Dan opened it and saw how boring it looked so he grabbed the wrapping paper from his bag and started taping it the the walls of the locker. Pj giggled and shook his head. Dan then just decorated it with stickers and other things before putting his stuff away. He grabbed his books for his first class and followed Pj to math. When they walked in, Pj pulled Dan by the arm to a small group of people.

“Hey Pj! How was your holiday? And who is this?” one of the girls squeaked. Dan blushed slightly at all the attention on him.

“It was okay. And this is Dan. Dan meet Louise, Cat, Zoe, Chris, and Felix. They’re cool I guess.” Pj smiled and rolled his eyes. They all smiled and said hello. Dan said hello back.

“I love your outfit! It’s so adorable!” Zoe squealed and played with the hem of his jumper. Dan blushed and stepped away a little as he didn’t like hands on him. 

“T-Thank you, all of you outfits are lovely as well,” Dan complimented and laughed under his breath. They all giggled a little bit.

“I like this one. Can we keep him?” Louise chirped and smiled. Then the bell rang and it was time to start class. Dan found a seat in the back corner next to Cat and Felix, and the lesson began. It wasn’t really a learning day, more or less just talking about how their summer was and what not. Before Dan knew it the first hour was over. He made his way thru the crowded hallway, getting a bunch of glances, to his locker. The was at his locker getting his stuff for his next class when the Phil Lester Pj was talking about opened his locker. Dan looked over and realized it was his neighbor from that morning. The one that bumped into him. Great. The Phil boy looked down at Dan and rolled his eyes. 

“So You're my new neighbor? And now my new locker neighbor? Fucking hell…” Phil growled and grabbed his books and slammed his locker shut.

“That’s how it seems to be,” Dan smiled and was going to walk away when he felt someone grab the collar of his shirt.

“You’re going to learn pretty quick that you are not to talk back to me. Understand?” Phil snarled, Dan nodded quickly and was dropped. Phil walked away before Dan stood up. He picked up his books and ran to class. This hour was art and that should be better. He found Pj in the hallway and followed him to the room. There was a couple familiar faces from the last period and some new ones.

“So these new people to you are Marzia, Dodie, and Jack.” Pj informed. Once again it was the whole hello talk again. He was getting weird looks from Jack. 

“What’s with all the pink? Are you a fa--” Jack was cut off by Pj smacking his arm really hard and Louise hitting him in the back of the head with the end of paintbrush. And bingo, there was the first almost mean comment. Dan kinda giggled a little though and both of them hitting him to make him shut up.

“Jack! Don’t be so rude,” Louise scolded and went back to painting, “You can come over by me and paint if you’d like Dan!” Dan just nodded and went over by her. That whole class period went by fast as they only messed around the whole period. Then it was third hour, the class he had with none of the nice people he met that day. It was his advanced English class. Louise was nice enough to show him where it was before heading to her class. The second Dan walked in the room he got stares immediately from all the upperclassmen. Dan wanted to sink into a ball on the floor and hide, but that obviously wasn’t an option. He looked around until he found a seat against the wall next to a window and he sat. Then he saw that Phil guy was in this class too and he was sitting in the back laughing with some other guys. Dan stopped staring when he realized Phil was looking at him. Dan became flustered and looked out the window. He saw the sun was out, hoping that meant it had warmed up. He was doodling in his notebook when he heard someone coughing ‘fag’ in the back. Dan tried to ignore it, but they kept saying it and chuckling. 

“Hey gay boy, hey!” Someone called from the back, unmistakably Phil’s voice. Dan ignored it and tried to listen to the teacher. They then threw something at him, which was a piece of balled up paper. Dan gripped onto his own hair, trying to calm himself down. Dan was an easy crier and he knew it. He was not already crying on his first day. The taunting got louder and more frequent so Dan turned around.

“How about y’all shut the fuck up and listen,” Dan whisper-yelled. The smiles all fell from their faces and were replaced with anger. They were quiet for the rest of the class, almost too quiet. The rest of the school day went by as a blur, until the end of the day.

“Hey Dan, could I get your number so we can hang out sometime?” Pj asked. Dan nodded and grabbed a sticky note and started writing his number on it. When he handed it over to Pj, who put it on his phone. He was about to hand it back to Dan when it fell. Dan went to pick it up, but it was gone before he could. He looked around and couldn’t find the sticky note. He shrugged and grabbed his things. He headed out the door and to his house, but when he was about to get off the school lot someone grabbed him and pulled him into a corner. Dan was thrown on the ground and looked up to see three faces. One being Phil’s.

“What did I tell you about talking back?” Phil growled, “My friends Mark and Casper here don’t like being talked back to either.” Phil grinned evilly as his friends walked forward. Dan pushed himself against the wall and his eyes were wide. It was only the first day and he was about to beat already. He barely even did anything!

“Aw is the little fag scared? Is he going to run home to mummy and daddy?” Casper cooed and laughed. No actually, he wasn’t. His parents could care less about him. They were too involved in their jobs to notice when something was wrong. Dan felt the first punch to his rib cage. Then his shoulder, then everywhere. He cried out ‘please stop’ more than he could remember. Thru the one eye he could barely see out of, he could’ve sworn he saw a frown on Phil’s face. Like a concerned frown. After what felt like forever it was over, but Phil walked up and gave one last kick to the stomach before leaving.

“Hope you learned your lesson,” Phil huffed before walking away with his friends. Dan couldn’t move for the time being. He sat there and cried into his knees. After what felt like twenty minutes, he grabbed all of his things and attempted to stand up. He fell at first, then got up and limped home. When he reached his door his pain was beyond agony and nobody was home. He could see Phil sitting on his front step, so Dan tried to muffle his sobs, but it was no use. He fumbled with the lock and couldn’t get it. He was shaking too much. He slid against the door until he was sitting on the ground. He could kind of see Phil getting the mail out of his mailbox, Dan just held onto himself tighter and closed his eyes. He slowly made his way to his feet and steadily got his key in the door and opened it. He closed the door behind him and locked it. He made his way up to his room and collapsed on his bed. He laid there making silent sobs for an hour before he heard his parents get home. They were arguing. The yelling could be heard thru the whole house. Dan tried to put pillows over his ears so he wouldn’t hear it, but that didn’t help. Then Dan heard his phone buzz. He thought it might be Pj, but Pj was saved in his phone.

_From: Unknown  
You looked really cute today :3 I love the way you dress, like you don’t care what people think of you. It’s nice. Xx_


	2. It's Not Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: Self harm, alcohol usage, self hate.

Dan stared at his phone for a good five minutes. Who would text him that? Why? How they get his number? It was Dan’s first Day of school and he already had someone texting him stuff like this? It had to be one of the friends he made today right? That’s the only explanation right? Dan still felt all the pain going thru his limp body, it hurt so much. Should he text them back? Probably. He decided to

_Thank you? Who is this? How did you get this number?_

Dan waited patiently for a reply. He saw them start typing. Dan felt so many emotions right now. The major one being pain. He hurt everywhere. He started to blush, even though nobody was around to see. He was confused, why would someone take interest in him? He was a mess. Sure, Dan thought his clothes were cute, but still. Then he realizes something else, was this a boy or a girl? He was only interested romantically with boys. Dan laid back and put his phone down, waiting for a response.

_From: Unknown  
You’re very welcome ^_^. Now that would ruin the fun wouldn’t it? For now you can call me secret admirer, love ;)_

Dan held in a breath. Secret Admirer? He had a secret admirer? It was his first day! Dan’s blush grew deeper, but then he heard something break downstairs and he dropped his phone. He felt more hot tears going down his cheeks, burning the cut on his cheek. He grabbed his phone to text back before he went to take a shower.

_Bye._

Dan got up and grabbed some pajamas before going into the bathroom. He got into the bathroom and stripped of his clothing. He knew he’d ruined that jumper, there was blood on it. He looked in the mirror at himself and could see every bruise and cut. Especially the cuts he had done himself. The jagged cuts on his arms, all over his arms. That’s why he always wore long sleeves. He hated everything about himself. He had been told by people that he should hate himself for who he was so why wouldn’t he? He has to put up with his parents, who don’t even notice, and all they did was argue about how the other one is never home. It was frustrating to say the least. Dan had been depressed since as long as he could remember, but being the age he is now, everything is worse. Dan stepped into the shower and let the hot water burn every bruise and cut. He saw his razor sitting behind the shampoo bottle almost challenging him. He always broke, he always did. He picked up the razor and looked at it. Tears still poured from his eyes. He couldn’t stop if he wanted to. He slid the razor across his already scarred arms. He didn’t wince at the pain anymore. He was numb to it, but it still helped. Watching the blood trickle..

****

After Dan got out of the shower, he went back to his room. He wasn’t feeling it tonight. He picked up his phone from the bed and saw four messages. Dan clinched his jaw and opened them

_From: Unknown  
Did I come on too strong? I’m sorry…_

_From: Unknown  
Are you okay?_

_From: Unknown  
Can you please just tell me if you’re okay._

_From: Unknown  
I saw what happened to you today and I just want to know if you’re okay._

Dan shook his head and ran to the other side of the room. Grabbing behind his desk to find a bottle of Vodka. He opened it and took a big swig. It burned so good. Dan grabbed his phone in anger. If this person saw this happen, why didn’t they help? 

_If you saw then why didn’t you help? Is this your attempt on giving me a pity party? I bet you don’t know what it’s like to be beaten. To the point you almost dead. If you thought today was bad then you should’ve seen my old school. I had to go to the hospital. And guess why I was beaten? BECAUSE I’M FUCKING GAY! I have started to really pity the people who think they have to beat someone to feel better. That they have to beat someone who already hurts themselves and has a bunch of fucking home issues. AND to put the fucking cherry on top of their shit life, they beat the shit out of him._

Dan threw his phone on the ground and went to sit on his patio that connected to his room. He sat there and took swigs of the vodka every-so-often, making the pain fade. Tears are still falling from his already swollen eyes, making them hurt worse. He starts to feel really dizzy, so he stops drinking. He sits and looks up at the sky.

****

Dan doesn’t remember going to his bed or setting his alarm. But he does wake up to the sound of it beeping making his splitting headache so much worse. He turns off his alarm clock and gets up. The first thing he does is figure out what he’s going to wear, and today he goes with a baby blue oversized jumper and his pair of white shorts that stop at his knees. He tops it off with some pastel blue converse. He grabs one of his homemade flower crowns and heads to the bathroom to straighten his hair. He then realizes that his mum must’ve took it with her to work. She does that sometimes and Dan doesn’t know why. He huffs and puts the crown on anyways, letting his curls, or hobbit hair as he would say, mix in with the flowers. He goes back to his room to grab his bag and phone. When he looks at his phone he sees two messages. One sent last night and the other this morning.

_From: Unknown  
I didn’t know you did that…. I’m sorry. You’re worth it. _

_From: Unknown  
Good Morning love xx_

The second one made him mad. He didn’t know Dan so why would he say love. Dan doesn’t even know if it’s a he or a she. Dan’s headache is making his anger even worse. He goes downstairs and eats and takes some pills for his head. He notices that his parents are both gone. Of course. Dan tried to use his mum’s makeup and cover the bruises, it kind of helped. He walked out the door and saw Phil Lester outside on his phone. Dan limped as fast as he could, he heard Phil start walking. Dan whimpered out a sob, but didn’t cry. He had cried too much. He can’t cry now. He took a step over a curb and fell. His ankle already hurt from yesterday, but now his bruised knees ached deeply. He felt a tear go down his cheek at his weakness. He saw Phil walking past, not even acknowledging him. Then he felt his phone buzz again.

_From: Unknown  
I just saw you fall… are you okay love? xx_

Dan buried his face in his hands and sat there. This person was around here somewhere, but there was too many people walking to tell who it was. All Dan replied with was

_Lose this number._

Dan stood up and walked to school.

****

Once he got to school and started walking down the hall, he saw everyone looking at him. He knew his face was bruised and his cheek had a cut on it, but he always felt like they were judging him because of something else. He did his walk of shame to his locker and opened the door. He put his bag inside and grabbed his stuff for first hour. He was about to leave his locker, but when he was walking away Phil put a foot out and he fell. Pain shot thru Dan’s body and his massive headache got worse. Everyone's laughs ringed in his ears, he felt like he was broken. He didn’t even grab his stuff, he just ran. He ran till he was outside against a brick wall in the corner. He curled up and collapsed. He knew he was getting his pants dirty, but he didn’t care. 

“Why are you so stupid! Why can’t you be normal like everyone else! Why do you hate yourself so much! What’s wrong with you!” Dan was yelling and crying at himself. He was so angry, but couldn’t do anything with his anger. He took off his homemade flower crown and started ripping it to pieces. He threw it everywhere. God he just wanted alcohol right now. Or his razor. Something to numb the pain. He started pulling on his hair as he cried and rocked back and forth. He hated himself so much. He wanted this to end. Then he heard his phone buzz. He took it out of his pocket and held it with shaky hands.

_From: Unknown  
I think you’re cuter when you're smiling <3 Please don’t cry, somebody always cares. Even if that person doesn’t have a name xx_

Tears slowed down a little, but didn’t go away. Dan heard somebody walk away from the corner. That had to be who it was! Dan made himself get up and go. He looked around and saw no one there. It was all just empty. Dan wanted to scream and throw something across the room. His was actually Hell. He slowly made his way down the hall, seeing he was going to miss first hour. He saw a really creepy bathroom and decided to go in because he needed to wash his face. There was no light in there, so Dan awkwardly stumbled to a sink. Then he felt a hand on his cheek.

“You’re worth it,” The person whispered and then took off. Before Dan could process what just happened they were far gone. So this person was real and they were a boy by the sounds of his deep voice. Dan creeped out of the bathroom and looked around the empty hallway. He held his cheek and blushed. What was that? Dan looked back at his phone and saw a new text.

_From: Unknown  
Your cheeks are really soft and warm love  <3_

****

It was the end of the day now and Dan’s day was full of questions about what happened to his face. He just said he fell down his stairs and people believed him for some reason. While Dan was walking out of the school, he started to text back ‘unknown’ because he never responded. He was typing when all of a sudden he felt someone behind him. When Dan turned around he just saw someone in a black hood, running the opposite way. The text Dan was about to send was;

_I needed that earlier, thank you._

Dan completely forgot to send it and kept walking. It didn’t seem like today he was going be beaten. He hoped not. He didn’t think his body could handle that. He was nearing his house, he could see his parents were both home and he could hear them arguing before he even walked into the house. Dan just stood there, motionless. He hated school and he hated his home. It wasn’t much of a home. Dan could see Phil walking his driveway in the corner of his eye. He saw Phil roll his eyes in his direction, but he just went inside his own house. At this point Dan didn’t think it was possible to cry anymore, but he was wrong. The tears stung and his eyes were tired beyond belief. He slumped down into the grass before feeling his phone buzz.

_From: Unknown  
Just breathe love. Everything is going to be okay xx_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments and kudos loves <3


	3. I'm Slipping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: violence, alcohol, smut

Dan curled up in the grass and cried. He hated everything. He couldn’t fucking breathe, he was getting a panic attack and nobody knew how to help. When Dan opened his eyes, he saw Mark, Alfie, and Caspar in Phil’s driveway. They all turned and looked at Dan at the same time. Evil grins haunted their faces as they walked over. Dan’s panic attack was still there and wasn’t allowing him to move. Tears rushed faster and faster as they neared. Dan knew what they were going to do just by their eyes.

“Looks like the little faggot is crying. Is mummy and daddy fighting? Probably because they’ve raised such a little queer,” Caspar spat in Dan’s direction. Dan tried to block them out. He tried to look away, tried to think of happy things. But in all honesty, there wasn’t anything really happy in his life. Every school he went to he was bullied, and nobody understood. Dan ached for some way to get away. To stop the mean words, to stop the hits.

“Are you trying to ignore us gay boy? It isn’t going to work.” Alfie growled and laughed. Then the hits came hard. Bashing every part of his body. Not leaving very much unbruised skin. Dan cried out ‘please stop’ over and over and over again. The pain felt like it would never end. He just sat there and took it. He curled up to cover his stomach the best he could. He didn’t want to get sick. Moments like these are the ones that Dan wishes he was dead. Sometimes he wonders why he’s still alive. Why he’s waited this long. His thoughts are almost louder than the rude phrases coming out of the bullies mouths. Dan could see his phone out of the corner of his eye and saw three new messages. He bet it was ‘unknown’, probably could see what was happening. Dan heard Phil’s front door open and somebody came over to join the beat party.

“Phil! Get off your phone and come beat this homo with us!” Mark laughed and kicked Dan back. Dan saw Phil shove his phone in his pocket and walk closer. He looked… almost concerned? Dan brushed it off and looked down. He felt Phil grab his chin and yank him, so that he was looking at him.

“Now how bout you just get lost and try not to show your queer face at school anymore, yeah?” Phil pulled his hand away, and for some reason, his fingers coming off of his cheek felt familiar, but he couldn’t figure out why. Dan just nodded and sniffled. He heard them all laugh and pile into Phil’s house. Dan sat there motionless for a good amount of time. Then he grabbed his phone.

_From: Unknown  
Just tune them out. Think of something good xx_

_From: Unknown  
You know you have really pretty eyes? They’re a good shade of brown._

_From: Unknown  
And your smile and dimples make me weak xx_

_From: Unknown  
Oh my god, it’s okay love. I can see what’s happening to you right now. Cover your tummy and chest. That’s where it’ll hurt the most. Think of something good, like how cute your outfit is today xx_

Dan blushed at first, but then anger swallowed him. Why wouldn’t this person help when he really needed it. If they even actually cared a little bit they would help. Dan cursed at himself and slowly tried to stand up. He grabbed his phone and started texting as he waddled into the house.

_If you really cared you would help._

Dan didn’t even see his parents when he walked in. By the time he got upstairs, he could hear them leaving for their night shifts. He laid in his bed and stared up at the ceiling, trying not to think. Thinking never ended well for him. His own brain hated him too. He heard his phone ding and decided to ignore it for now. He didn’t want any bull shit right now. Every part of his body felt numb from all the pain he endured. He needed to take a shower. So that’s what he did. The pastel boy walked into the bathroom and stripped off his clothes, which were now ruined because of the blood. The water was hot and burned each wound, but it felt good in a way. When he was done, he just put on a huge oversized jumper that went down to his mid-thighs. He limped into his room and saw a two texts on his phone.

_From: Unknown  
If you knew who I was, you would know I couldn’t of helped…_

_From: Pj  
Hey Dan! A bunch of us are going to a party at Cat’s house, and I was wondering if you wanted to go. I would pick you up in about 30 min, there will be alcohol!_

Dan thought it might be a good idea to escape this hell. To forget everything that’s happened tonight. So he decided to text Pj and tell him he was going. 

_To: Pj  
That sounds like fun! Pick me up then xD_

He grabbed his blow dryer and straightener that had founds its way back into his room and did his hair. He grabbed a pair of pastel pink shorts that hugged his bum nice and a big gray jumper with a pink skull on it. He threw on some lacy gray knee high socks and his pastel pink hightops and was off. He had put some of his mum’s makeup on the bruises to hide them. It worked. Dan was now sitting on his front step waiting and he saw Pj pull up. There was other people in the car. It looked like Chris, Louise, and Zoe. They were all nice so it seemed fine. Dan tried his best not to limp to the car, that would look weird. 

“Hey Dan, you look good,” Pj giggled as he was talking in a suggestive voice. Everyone else in the car cringed and laughed and Dan hopped into the back with Chris and Louise. Everyone just chatted for the time being until they reached Cat’s house. There was a bunch of cars out front, one looking like the one that was in Phil’s driveway. Dan gulped silently and stepped out of the car. They got inside and saw a cluster fuck of people talking and laughing, some dancing. It was a mess. Before anyone had time to say hi to Dan, he made his way to the alcohol table and grabbed some tequila. As he was drinking, he walked into the living room and saw a group of people sitting in a circle. Oh dear.

“Dan! Dan! Sit down next to me! We’re playing truth or dare!” Louise giggled and motioned for Dan to sit down. Dan didn’t want to play, but he was too socially awkward to say no, so he sat. Then he saw Phil and his friends join the circle, eyeing Dan. 

“Okay so let’s start, Jack, truth or dare?” Cat asked, looking at Jack. He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Dare, I’m not a pussy.” Jack laughed. ‘Ooo’s’ could be heard throughout the room.

“Okay then Dare. I dare you to kiss Mark!” Cat giggled along with whistles and laughter. Jack’s face turned bright red and he shook his head quickly.

“I am not doing that!” Jack yelled.

“That’s fucking gross, neither of us are faggots!” Mark growled.

“Oh we all see the way you look at each other,” Cat was still laughing, “But if you’re not going to do it, take a shot.” Jack grabbed the shot and downed it.

“Okay, Louise! Truth or Dare?” Jack was smiling creepily. Now that Dan noticed this was a drinking game, he put his drink down. He was already feeling fuzzy.

“Truth.” Louise said flat out.

“Did you eat my pringles earlier today?” 

“Yes, yes I did. And they were great!” Louise was laughing now. A few more people went, mainly truths. Dan felt his phone buzz, and since he hadn’t been picked yet he looked.

_From: Unknown  
You look so good tonight xx_

Dan blushed and smile, which Chris seemed to pick up on, so Dan was his next target.

“Daniel! Truth or Dare?” Chris tossed an empty cup at him to get his attention.

“Oh, um. Truth,” Dan stuttered, why did god make him so awkward. He could tell Chris was thinking about what he was going to ask. 

“What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done with someone?” Chris raised an eyebrow and everyone in the room was now paying attention to Dan, including Phil and his friends. 

“I um. I gave someone a blowjob once?” Dan squeaked and slurred his words. Wolf whistles and laughing filled the room. Dan just realised he kind of just came out to this room of people just because he was slightly intoxicated and didn’t think before speaking. Then he heard Caspar and Mark coughing ‘faggot’. 

“Damn, I was convinced you were going to take a shot on that one Howell!” Troye laughed, “But hey! Go you for that one.” Troye obviously very drunk, which made Dan laugh. Then the night continued and the game stopped. Everyone just went back to what they were doing and Dan just stood there and talked with his group. He felt his phone buzz.

_From: Unknown  
I didn’t expect for you to be so naughty, I bet you’re so good at it too._

_From: Unknown  
You have such pretty lips for it love xx_

Dan blushed so hard and looked around. This person was at this party and was playing truth or dare. There was only about twelve or so people playing. Dan read over the texts again and smiled. This person was drunk as well. He decided to play along.

_That’s what I’ve been told, maybe you need to punish me ;) xx_

Dan bit his lip and waited for a response. He got one almost immediately.

_From: Unknown  
I bet you’re a screamer. I bet you like it rough. I would ravish you xx_

Dan got feel a pang of arousal shoot thru his body making his shorts a little uncomfortable. And since he was wearing shorts, it was hard not to notice. He crossed his legs and winced, but before he could text back he got another text.

_From: Unknown  
You seem a little uncomfortable love ;)_

Dan squirmed in his seat a little and whimpered. A couple people sat next to Dan gave him a strange look and raised an eyebrow. They looked like they were going to say something, but Dan got up and went, “I’m g-going to the b-bathroom!” and he darted up the stairs in search of the room. He could hear couples having sex and making out in the rooms next to him, which made what he was about to do even sadder. He needed to text the number back.

_You made me hard in front of my friends._

Dan probably should’ve said something flirty back, but his drunk brain wasn’t working that way. He finally found the bathroom, when he felt someone push him in and lock the door. Dan was about to freak out, but then the person grabbed his wrists and pushed him on the toilet. He felt someone tying his wrists to the towel rack above his head. This had to be the person. Dan could hear what sounded like an iphone or jewelry being put on the counter, but he couldn’t see anything. Then he felt pressure on his crotch, the man was palming him. Dan whimpered and pushed his hips against the hand, but the person pushed his hips down. Then he felt hot breathes on his neck. His weakest part. Dan let out a whorish moan and whined. 

“P-Please d-d-do something…” Dan whined and mewled as the man kept rubbing him thru his shorts. He started biting and sucking on Dan’s neck, making his a whimpering mess. Then he finally gave Dan some relief and unzipped his shorts to reveal his light blue panties, but he probably couldn’t see them. The person pulled Dan’s hard, already leaking cock out of his underwear and started stroking him. Dan arched his back and cried out a moan. He wanted more. This guy knew what he was doing. He flicked his thumb over his slit, making Dan shake and whine. 

“You’re so pretty,” the guy whispered in Dan’s ear. The voice sounded so familiar, but Dan couldn’t put his finger on it. He could probably figure it out if he wasn’t drunk. The hand sped up and stroked harder. Dan felt like he was going to explode. Dan couldn’t even speak to warn him he was close, he just mewled super loud and could basically hear the smirk on the man’s face. Before Dan knew what was happening, he was cumming all over the man’s hand and probably on his jumper as well. He heard the man chuckle, and then he tucked Dan back in his panties. He laid a kiss on Dan’s cheek and untied him quickly, then leaving before Dan could process what was going on. He blushed and held his cheek. Did that really just happen? 

_From: Unknown I knew you’d be loud love ;) And your cheeks are still as warm and soft as ever. Goodnight my pastel prince xxx_

Dan just held his cheek and smiled. Before just straight up falling asleep that is. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments please <33  
> (who do you think unknown is ooooo, I bet you can't guess)


	4. Shattered Screams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTERS WARNINGS: self-harm, violence, suicide thoughts

Dan woke up with a massive headache. Everything seemed blurry and a mess. Why did he wake up on a toilet seat? Oh. Then it hit him why, as he looked down at his jumper. Did he jerk off in a drunken haze? That’s embarrassing. Dan slowly stood up and adjusted his pants before looking over at the sink. There was a note there that read:

_Dear Dan,_  
You looked sooooo beautiful last night  <3 the sounds you make are amazing. I don’t deserve someone as great as you ^_^ Take these painkillers for that headache + drink something other than alcohol. When you get home, text me.  
I think I like you a little too much,  
Unknown

Dan couldn’t help, but smile at the letter. But then he realized, he must’ve not jerked off, the unknown person helped him out. It kinda made Dan a little mad now, they completely took advantage of the situation, but he didn’t stay mad for too long as he took the pills. He quickly gathered all his things and darted down the stairs, trying to cover the front of his jumper, which was probably ruined by now. There was so many teens that were passed out around the living room. Phil and his friends were sitting in the kitchen laughing. Why the hell were they still here. 

“Hey fag! Since you’re done with your beauty sleep, now we can have some fun with you,” Caspar laughed. The smile fell off Dan’s face and he turned to run, but once he got to the door, it wouldn’t open. Mark popped his knuckles and Joe laughed. Dan felt tears already going down his cheeks. The makeup was probably all gone now, showing all the cuts and bruises. Dan fell to the floor with his back against the door, looking up at them. The tears made his cuts sting worse. “I’m pretty sure we didn’t cause the bruises on your neck, little faggot got up to some queer activities last night didn’t he?”

“So fucking gross,” Mark spat at Dan, throwing his empty plastic cup at him. Caspar was about to throw the first punch when Phil grabbed his arm.

“We’re in a room full of people. Do you really think this is a good idea?” Phil huffed and let go of his arm. Casper rolled his eyes and turned around, “Okay, now your making since, lets leave this bitch.” The group started to make their way out of house. Dan wiped his tears away and slowly stood up. Everything was starting to hurt now, the painkillers were slightly helping though. Dan could easily wake up Pj and get a ride home, but he didn’t want to. He managed to leave thru the back door and he started walking when his phone buzzed.

_From: Unknown  
You’re a little messy from last night I see ;) you’re so beautiful, you know that? If you didn’t, well, you are. Good morning btw love  <3_

Dan had a small smile creep up on his face, someone cared. Well maybe, they could be tricking him. 

To: Unknown  
It’s your fault mister! And thank you ^_^ good morning back to ya xx

****

Once Dan reached his house, he saw Phil sitting alone on his front steps smoking. He was on his phone, and he was smiling? Almost like he was actually happy about something other than beating up Dan. Well, Dan thought he should be somewhat thankful because he was the one that stopped him from getting hit this morning. Dan felt his phone buzz..

_From: Unknown  
Better cover up that neck of yours sweetheart ;) your parents will see._

The smile fell off Dan’s face, his parents wouldn’t care. Mainly because they wouldn’t even see. They were never home. Dan felt tears going down his face again, of course his parents weren’t fucking home right now. Dan felt his knees buckle and he just fell to the ground and brought his knees to his face and cried. He completely forgot about Phil sitting right there. Dan just bawled, he couldn’t stop it. Then he felt his phone buzz.. He took it out of his pocket with shaky hands and read it.

_From: Unknown  
Are you okay? Why are you crying? Please tell me what’s wrong bby :(_

_To: Unknown  
Fuck you. Actually fuck you. If you actually fucking cared you would be holding me right now! You probably did it last night for your own enjoyment. Taking advantage of the fact that I was drunk! FUCK YOU! I’m not your fucking bby so fucking stop you asshole! Stop texting this number, or i will block you._

Dan got up quickly and ran into his house, he didn’t bother locking the door behind him. He went straight up to his bathroom and collapsed on the carpet. He quickly opened the cabinet and found the small silver blade that was under the sink. He wasted no time throwing off his jumper and shorts. His shorts were just long enough to cover his cuts on his thighs. He took the blade and started with his thighs. They were more plump then his arms, so it was more of a relief to see the soft skin slowly tear apart and blood leak out. He slashed both of his thighs repeatedly and then once they were littered with cuts, he went to his arms. He dragged the blade across his damaged arms fast, not wasting time. It all was just starting to feel numb. So numb. He was shaking like crazy, until he dropped the razor. He couldn’t bring himself to pick it back up. He just sat there in his own bloody mess. He knew he probably completely ruined the carpet. He slowly stood up and just left the bathroom how it was. He didn’t clean any of the blood of him, he just went in his room and put pajamas on. Probably staining them in the process. Dan slowly pushed himself in his bed and just laid there. He needed a nap.

****

Dan woke up with a splitting headache at 4:36 pm. He groaned and sat up slightly and grabbed his phone. There was so many messages

_From Unknown:  
I’m so sorry. Please understand that i can’t show you who i am. _

_From: Unknown  
I understand if you’re upset. Please text me back so I know you’re okay _

_From: Unknown  
Dan? Pls_

_From: Pj  
How did you get home dude?_

_From: Unknown  
I’m such a fuck up_

_From: mum  
I have to work late tonight! You a order a pizza if you’d like!_

_From: Unknown  
Danny please respond_

_From: dad  
Sorry, won’t be home tonight._

_From: Louise  
Hey Dan! Are you okay? Pj was worried because you left without telling us and now you’re not responding :(_

_From: Unknown  
….. You’re the only true friend i have_

_From: Pj  
Hello?!?_

_From: Unknown  
I stormed into your house to find you, and I saw how bloody you were. But you were sleeping. I’m so sorry you feel you have to do that to yourself. You’re so amazing, and so so beautiful. You were so out of it, you didn’t wake up when I cleaned your cuts and put bandages on them. I changed your pajamas for you, I know that might sounds weird, but yours were ruined. I cleaned up your bathroom for you. I flushed your blade that was on the floor. Im sorry, but I can’t keep seeing you like that. You probably have other, but i wasn’t going to search thru your things to find them. I also cleaned the cuts on your pretty face. I’m sorry love xx_

Dan didn’t even realise the bandages on his arms and thighs until he sat up. He was in different pajamas as well. The unknown man did come in and take care of him. Even though Dan was mad he flushed his blade, he knew he must’ve cared. Somebody cared. Before Dan knew it small tears were going down his puffy cheeks. For once not because he was really sad. He stood up and winced at the pain and started to head downstairs. He went into the kitchen and saw a box of pizza with a bottle of coke next to it and paper towels. And a note on top.

_Dear Dan,_  
I ordered you a pizza for when you woke up. Pizza is some of the best medicine :D Anyway, sorry again for everything.  
I hope you begin to love yourself, Unknown 

Dan smiled and set the letter down before opening the pizza box and grabbing a slice. He pulled out his phone to text some people back.

_To: Pj  
Sorry! I walked home then passed out on my bed XP_

_To: Louise  
Sorry, i walked home then fell asleep._

_To: Unknown  
Thank you._

****

The night came and went, now it was morning and was time to get ready for class. Dan threw on a baby pink oversized jumper with a collared shirt under it and some ripped white skinny jeans. He put of his rainbow pastel high tops and grabbed his baby pink flower crown and his bag and left. Dan saw Phil leave his front door at the same time he did. Dan had makeup on his face to cover up the bruises and on his neck. He tried to walk fast, so he wouldn’t bump into Phil or anything like that. 

The walk to school was pretty uneventful. Once he arrived however, he was swarmed by Pj, Chris, Louise, and Zoe when I walked into the classroom. 

“Why did you leave without telling us?” Chris spoke up first. Dan fumbled around with his sweater paws and just walked thru them to his seat. They didn’t ask anymore questions that day. There was going to be a football game that night, they wanted him to go. Knowing he wasn’t going to be able to get out of it, he said he would go. 

***

It was 8:30 pm and the game was starting. The players were kicking the ball around and Dan and his friends were just sitting up in the bleachers. Dan was getting bored already, so he dismissed himself to go get a snack at the booth. He was still new here, so he didn’t really know where it was. After wandering around for awhile, he ended up completely lost. He was behind some building and i just so happened that Phil and his friends were behind that same building smoking. Dan was just about to book in when one of them spoke up.

“Well well, what are you doing here queer?” Joe laughed. Dan froze in place and looked down.

“Lost…” Dan mumbled. He heard Caspar laugh. Then someone threw something at him and it splattered on the front of his jumper. Another fucking jumper ruined. What is this shit. Then Mark came up and grabbed his jumped chuckled.

“Looks like this is ruined, won’t be needing this!” Mark yanked it off and threw it over to Joe, who caught it. The white collared shirt Dan had on underneath it was short sleeved, so all the bandages were shown.

“Wow look at this emo fag! He hurts himself! Does daddy not love you sad face,” Caspar mocked. Then Mark leaned forward and started ripping the bandages off.

“No! Stop!” Dan cried and tried to get away. He was pushed to the ground and Had dirt get thrown at his arms and face. The dirt was starting to get in the cuts, which burned like a mother fluffer. They showed no mercy. 

“Shut the fuck up cry baby!”( **they call me crybaby** ) yelled Joe as he landed a punch on Dan’s cheek. He scoffed when he saw the makeup on his fist, “the little faggot princess has makeup on too!” He laughed, so the rest did. Except Phil. He was still just sitting there smoking. Dan’s cries got louder and he started full on screaming. They all stopped and backed away when he did this.

“What the fuck! Calm down,” Caspar cursed. Dan couldn’t calm down. He was having a panic attack. His chest felt so tight, like he couldn’t breathe. He started crying even harder and panting loudly. Phil face looked worried Dan curled up into a ball and shook. He hasn’t had a panic attack in a long time. He hated them so much. He tried his best to do the breathing exercises he taught himself when he was having one of these. Dan couldn’t take this treatment anymore. He couldn’t. What was the point? The panic attack started to subside, so Dan got up and started to limp quickly away. He knew where he was going. To end it all. 

_The Bridge._

The only escape he thought.

_To Unknown  
goodbye._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry 4 cliff hanger m8


	5. On The Railing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: suicide attempt kinda, talks abouts cuts, fluff

The breeze was harshly cold. Dan didn’t think he’s ever ran faster in his life. His thoughts were plaguing his brain and destroying him. He thought this was his only way out. Out of his parents fighting and leaving, the bullying, the name calling, the abuse, the beating, all of it. He couldn’t bare it anymore, his blade wasn’t enough. He couldn’t keep living like this. He just couldn’t. No one cared. No one. And that unknown number seemed to care, but Dan thought if he really did he would tell him who he was and be here right now holding Dan close. Dan’s entire outfit was ruined, add that to the list of clothes he’s destroyed. He could see the bridge in the distance, he way out. Dan ran faster, panting as he did so, and reached it. He walked onto it and put his clammy hands of the railing and looked down. God it was a long drop. And it wasn’t into water either. Tears were still pouring out of his swollen eyes, burning every cut. His arms hurt, from all the dirt that was probably infecting his cuts.

Dan slowly climbed up on the railing (it was a brick railing) and stood up. The tears were coming harder now and Dan couldn’t calm himself down. He just looked down. Looking at his fate. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He knew it had to be unknown, probably asking what the hell he meant by that. Dan didn’t bother checking to see who it was. What was the point. He glanced down at his arms again and looked at how disgusting them looked. They were also bloody, from the skin being ripped open again. Dan felt his phone buzz again, but he didn’t check it. He shuffles forward so that the front of his shoes are off the edge. Dan was bracing himself for impact when he heard someone running. He quickly turned his head and saw a tall black silhouette running towards him. Dan was having a slight panic, but then the person came into view. 

_Phil._

What the fuck was he doing here? Was he going to push Dan off for him? Dan was half tempted to jump before he got on the bridge, but something was stopping him. His body wasn’t letting him at that moment. Dan could hear Phil breathing as he slowly stepped onto the bridge. He wasn’t saying anything, he was just looking at Dan with wide eyes. Dan could see worry in his eyes. 

“D-Dan p-p-please come down,” Phil wheezed. Dan raised an eyebrow and tried to examine his face. Why did Phil want him to come down? Why did he care.

“No. Why the fuck would I come down for you, you fucking arse hole! You have bullied me since I got here! Why would I get down for you? Hm? Inform me,” Dan yelled as more tears left his eyes. Dan’s mouth dropped slightly as he saw Phil has tears trickling out of his eyes. Why was he crying?

“Dan I’ll explain if you get down,” Phil tried to say calmly, but it made Dan more mad. Why was he here? Where were his dumb ass friends. 

“Why are you here! Give me a fucking reason to get down from here! So far, I just want to jump more. I mean, what’s the fucking point!” Dan cried, he hated how weak he looked right now. Dan saw Phil run his hands thru his hair and look and the ground, he looked frustrated.

“Can you please just trust me on this and get down?” Phil cried and stepped on step forward. Dan tensed up and shook his head.

“I said give me a fucking reason!” Dan whimpered and shook violently. He was getting cold out here. His lips were turning purple and his hands were red and so were his cheeks. Then Dan saw Phil take his phone out and start doing something. What the hell was he doing? Then Dan felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at Phil before looking at it. Phil was crossing his arms and just standing there with tears going down his cheeks. Dan looked at his phone. 

_From: Unknown  
Please come down beautiful, please xx_

Dan was in shock. He didn’t know what to think. He didn’t know how to feel. His lungs felt like they weren’t working properly. Phil was unknown. One of the people who bullied him was unknown. The one person who made Dan feel slightly better was Phil. And Phil was the one who jerked him off at a party. Dan stood there and just stared at Phil. Why would he? Dan did guess he had realized that recently Phil hadn’t hurt him or said anything bad to him, he actually stopped to beatings from happening. Dan just stood there. It was like time had stopped. And Phil was just standing there, waiting for a response. 

“W-Why?” Dan choked out. He was so confused. Why would Phil send him that stuff? Was he tricking him? But he did that thing at the party so why would he?

“I’ll explain if you please come here. Please Dan, I’m begging you. You’re too pretty to be up there,” Phil scrambled around his words. He just called Dan pretty, out loud. Even in this situation Dan couldn’t help, but blush. Dan slowly sat down on the railing and faced Phil. 

“Speak, this is as far as I’m moving until you speak,” Dan croaked, looked up at Phil with teary eyes. 

“I want to start by saying I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I never did. When I first saw you, I thought you adorable right away. I had known I wasn’t completely straight for awhile, but I was always able to push the thought of liking boys too away. Until I saw you. Something about you made me start feeling that way again. I was so mean to you the first day, I thought if I was mean to you those feelings would go away. But they didn’t. So when you dropped that piece of paper with your number, I scrambled to pick it up and then I left. I thought maybe just texting would make myself feel better and it would get this out of my system, but no. It just made me like you so much more. It made me feel even worse about the whole situation because I knew I was part of the reason you were hurting yourself. And drinking away your problems. I was going to tell you at that party, but I cowered out and his in the dark. You were drunk, I shouldn’t of done it. You were enjoying it so much though. It felt great to make you feel that good. But it pains me to see you cry. I can hear your parents fighting from my house. I know that has a effect on you. Basically what I’m trying to same is, I care so much about you. Please come off the ledge and let me warm you. You look freezing,” Phil sniffled. Dan stood there with his mouth slightly open. 

Dan didn’t say anymore. He got up and walked up to Phil and threw his arms around his torso and hugged tight. He cried into his shirt and gripped tighter. Phil started to cry a bit harder. He put his arms around Dan and let one hand massage Dan’s scalp, soothing him. Dan didn’t entirely forgive Phil yet, but he needed this right now. Somebody who cared. Dan felt Phil kiss his forehead. Dan then felt Phil grab his chin lightly. Dan looked up and melted into Phil’s soft eyes. Dan knew what he was about to do. He was going to kiss him. Dan wa going to let him. He knew he probably shouldn’t, because he was really mad still, but he wanted to. Phil leaned in and Dan met him halfway.

They melted into each other's lips. It felt amazing. It was soft, gentle, and loving. Dan moved his arms up to wrap around Phil’s neck and Phil’s hands were on Dan’s waist. Dan could taste the metal of Phil’s piercings as they kissed, but it didn’t bother him. Dan tangled his fingers in Phil’s hair and kissed back. 

“What the fuck! Phil you’re a fucking fag!?” Caspar yelled as him and mark and joe walked over. Dan started freaking out and Phil moved Dan behind him. 

“Fuck you Caspar. I’m bi and I could really fucking care less what you think. And if you’re planning on hurting Dan, well you’re out of luck because you’ll have to deal with me first.” Phil growled. 

“I have two other friends with me willing to beat your arse. Did the little queer pressure into this?” Caspar mocked. Dan clutched onto Phil’s arm tight and kept behind him.

“You. Do. Not. Speak. To. Him. That. Way.” Phil grumbled. 

“You used to call him a fag all the time. Hypocrite much,” Joe scoffed. 

“I was wrong and in denial. At least I know I was being a worthless dickhead unlike you,” Phil looked like he might explode. 

“You really want to fight us three? Against you and your pathetic boyfriend,” Caspar huffed and looked Phil dead in the eyes.

“Actually I’m going on Phil’s side for this one. First off, he’s way stronger than you two and second, I’ve been secretly fucking Jack so I’m not for beating him up,” Mark confessed and walked over to stand by Phil. 

“I fucking called it,” Dan whispered.

“What?” Mark asked.

“Oh nothing,” Dan grinned. 

“Anyway, you two don’t have a chance against me and Mark, so if I was you I would just leave or accept your fate,” Phil smirked. 

“This isn’t over Lester,” Caspar called before he and Joe turned around and left. Phil quickly turned around and hugged Dan tight, but not too tight, he didn’t want to hurt him.

“Are you okay Danny? We need to go clean your arms before they get infected. And Mark. Thank you,” Phil said.

“No problem,” and with that, Mark left. Leaving Dan and Phil alone.

“Okay Dan, we need to go to your house and clean you up. Alright?” Phil moved Dan’s fringe out of his face then cupped his cheek.

“I don’t want to go home,” Dan whimpered. Phil gave a weak smile and kissed his forehead before grabbing his hand.

“We can go to my house. And talk about all this. But here, take my jacket please,” Phil pulled off his leather jacket and put it around Dan. It was huge on Dan, so it looked adorable. Dan held onto Phil’s side as they walked, to scared to let go.

****

Once they reached Phil’s house, they hurried inside and Phil led Dan up to his room, “I need to take you to my bathroom so I can clean your arms on, okay?” Dan just nodded and followed him. When they reached the bathroom, Dan held his arms out and Phil got a warm cloth and some antibacterial wipes and started to clean them. Dan winced and his eyes started to water from the slight pain, “I’m sorry it hurts Dan, but we need to clean them.” After a while Phil finally finished cleaning the cuts and bandaged them up. He needed to change the ones on his thighs, so he’d have to get him out of his jeans.

“Dan, I need you to take off your jeans so I can change the bandages on your thighs,” Phil held the bandages in his hand and looked at Dan. Dan wasn’t scared of Phil seeing him in boxers, but he wasn’t wearing boxers, he was wearing baby pink lacy panties that were slightly see thru. 

“Um, I can do it myself,” Dan mumbled. Phil raised an eyebrow and frowned. 

“You can keep your boxers on, I just need to change the bandages,” Phil stated. 

“I’m not exactly wearing boxers…” Dan turned bright red.

“Oh. You’re commando?” 

“No, it’s just that I’m not wearing boxers…. I’m wearing something else.” 

“Oh. OH. Okay um, well I have a idea. How about I go get one of my hoodies and you can put it on while I change them, so it covers your crotch since it’ll be big on you?” 

“Yeah sure, that works,” Dan mumbled, he was so awkward. He saw Phil leave, so he threw off his shirt and waited. Soon Phil walked in with a big sweatshirt that was black and had a Muse logo on the front. Dan slipped it on and giggled a little at how long it was. It went to his lower thigh. So then Dan pulled off his jeans.

“You look so adorable,” Phil chuckled and started changing the bandages. Dan blushed and looked away. 

“I think this the most black I’ve ever worn,” Dan giggled and shifted slightly at Phil’s cold hands. Phil had to put his hands on Dan’s upper, inner thigh slightly to fix the bandage, which Dan would be lying if he said it didn’t turn him on a little bit. He didn’t mean for it to, it just did. He tried to ignore it and move on. Soon enough Phil was done and he stood up and kissed Dan’s nose really fast before pulling him into his room. Dan was a blushing mess.

“Okay, so you can sleep in that big hoodie, I don’t mind. It’s more comfortable than the clothes you were wearing. You are going to sleep on my bed, I’m going to sleep on the couch in the over room, alright? I want you to feel safe and comfortable.” Phil started unmaking the bed and fixing the pillows. He grabbed Dan’s phone and plugged it in and gestured for Dan to get into the bed. Dan smiled and climbed in and got comfy, “If you need anything text me, okay? We’ll talk about all of this in the morning. Goodnight cutie,” Phil leaned down and kissed Dan’s forehead and then walked out of the room. Dan was actually tired for once. He actually felt safe for once. Even though this room was a lot darker colors than Dan’s room was. Dan quickly started to drift off to a slumber.

****

Dan woke up with a slight panic attack. He forgot where he was. Phil Lester’s house. The room was scary dark and Dan didn’t know what time it was. He found his phone and looked. 4:15 am. Great. Dan didn’t know if he could fall back asleep. He kinda wanted Phil up here. He went to his messages and was going to text Phil. Now he could finally change his contact name.

_To: Philly  
I can’t fall back asleep :(_

_From: Philly  
I haven’t asleep yet ;_;_

_To: Philly  
Cuddle?_

_From: Philly  
R u sure? o_o_

_To: Philly  
Please._

With that, Dan could hear Phil coming up the stairs. When Phil came in he used his phone flashlight and made it over to the bed. He climbed in the bed and laid down next to Dan. Dan instinctively moved over and laid his head on his chest and wrapped his arms around his waist and held on. He felt Phil massaging his hair with his hand. Dan hummed in response and nuzzled into his chest. Soon Dan drifted back off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this makes up for all the fucking cliff hangers oml   
> useless pet will be up tuesday loves <3


	6. Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: so much fluff you'll **fucking vomit m8** \+ shameless smut

Dan woke up really sore and his eyes felt heavy from all the crying the night before. He had slight freak out for a second seeing he wasn’t in his bed, but then he remembered where he was. He woke up drooling onto Phil’s chest, seeing he hadn’t woke up. Dan blushed and looked at the sleeping boy. He looked so peaceful, not threatening at all. Dan instinctively scooted up and kissed his cheek, then shoving his face in the crook of Phil’s neck. He felt Phil starting to stir and move a little in his sleep, showing he was starting to wake up. Dan shut his eyes as he felt a hand tangle in his hair and massage gently. He slowly reopened his eyes and looked up thru his eyelashes and saw Phil looking down at him.

“G’morning Philly,” Dan giggled and snuggled more into Phil. Phil chuckled at the cuddly boys actions and pushed his fringe out of his face. Phil then grabbed his glasses and put them on with one hand while holding onto Dan with the other. 

“Good morning,” Phil smiled and kissed Dan’s forehead. He knew they needed to talk about everything, but right now this calming from all the stress. Dan blushed deeply and hid his face in Phil’s neck, making Phil smile softly. 

“Are you hungry?” Phil asked, interrupting the silence. 

“Cuddles,” Dan mumbled against Phil’s neck. Dan then shivered slightly as he felt Phil lightly rubbing one finger on Dan’s neck.

“You still have hickies, love,” Phil smirked at how responsive Dan was being to such soft touches.

“They show people I’m yours. Also shows that I could probably release just from having my neck attacked,” Dan blushed and giggled as he pulled away to see Phil blushing as well. Dan didn’t even really even know what they were entirely. Dan still was mad and upset about everything Phil had done to him, but right now everything felt safe. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Phil said out of the blue, in his softest voice. Dan blushed violently and put his hand on Phil’s cheek and slowly dragged the pad of his thumb over Phil’s snake bites. Dan felt small tears trickle out of the corner of his eyes. Immediately Phil brought his hand up and pulled Dan into a hug and traced little shapes on his back, “Love, what’s wrong? Did I do something wrong? I’m trying my best to figure all of this out and if I upset you I’m sor-”

“Nobody has ever called me that before to my face,” Dan interrupted Phil’s rambling and melted into his touch. 

“Oh, Dan, well you are. I wouldn’t lie to you,” Phil nuzzled his face into Dan’s soft curls, his hair smelled amazing. But then dan pulled away and looked at Phil with a hurt reaction and scrambled to the end of the bed and faced away from him. 

“Really? You wouldn’t lie? So are you saying when you called me a fag, worthless, ugly, and stupid, you weren’t lying? This is too much,” Dan sobbed and put his face in his hands. Phil moved to sit down next to him, but saw Dan flinch as he did so. 

“Dan, you know I didn’t mean any of that shit. You are amazing and beautiful and so fucking pretty. You’re nice and always try to cheer people up even when you can’t yourself. I am so sorry for ever saying those things to you. Know from now on that I will never lie to you like I did around my friends who aren’t even really my friends,” Phil exhaled and saw Dan look over at him before pouncing on him. Phil fell against the bed on his back as Dan crashed his lips into his, laying on top of him. Phil kisses him back and put one of his hands on Dan’s cute little bum and the other in Dan’s hair. Dan made a strangled whine sound as Phil lightly squeezed his bum. Phil smirked against Dan’s lips and sat up so Dan could properly straddle him. Dan thru both of his arms around Phil’s neck and detached his lips as Phil started sucking and nipping at his neck. 

“Fuck,” Dan choked out and started grinding his crotch against Phil’s. Phil knew when he felt Dan’s erection that he needed to stop. He couldn’t waste any first time with Dan just because it was in the heat of the moment. Phil quickly pulled away and held Dan still and looked into his glazed eyes.

“Dan, we can’t right now. It would be wrong, and I respect you too much to just take advantage of the fact that you’re a little horny. Do you understand sweetheart?” Phil said in his softest voice and saw Dan blush loads. Dan glanced down at the tent under his hoodie, well Phil’s. Dan hated how easily excited was, he couldn’t really blame himself since he was a virgin. Sure he had given a blowjob and recieved a handjob in a bathroom at a party, but still. Dan slowly stood up and looked around.

“Can I use your bath?” Dan mumbled and met Phil’s eyes. Phil smirked and chuckled lightly as he took Dan’s hand and pulled him out the door. Once they reached the bathroom, Phil smiled and hugged Dan from behind.

“A cold one perhaps?” Phil smirked and tapped Dan’s bum lightly as Dan blushed and shut the door. Phil went back to his room and ‘think things over’. 

Dan threw off the hoodie and turned on the bath. He slipped out of his underwear and slowly sunk in. As soon as was completely in the water he realized he forgot to take of the bandages so he got a painful reminder that they were still on the second he gripped his flustered cock. He let out a loud yelp of pain and felt small tears threatening to escape. He heard running outside the door immediately followed by knocking. 

“Dan? Love? Are you okay? Do I need to come in?” Phil panicked thru the door. Dan blushed slightly at the situation, but then felt the pain once again. 

“I forgot about the bandages… so yes please,” Dan squeaked and put his hands over his aroused crotch. Phil pushed open the door and became red in the face as he looked down at Dan. He quickly grabbed new bandages out of under the sink and sat them down next to the tub.

“Okay so um I need to take your bandages off and let you bathe and then I need to put them back on, okay?” Phil grinned hesitantly. Dan just nodded and sat up on his knees and covered his private parts. Phil could still see a tiny bit of Dan’s leaking tip, but he tried not to look. He quickly took the bandages off everywhere and threw them in the bin. Phil frowned at the scars, but then left and went to his room again to let Dan bathe. As soon as he got to his room he threw himself on his bed and just relaxed as much as he could. He could smell the scent of Dan on his sheets, which smelt amazing. He ruffled his hands in his hair and just exhaled.

After awhile he heard the bathroom door open and Dan walk into the room in a towel just around his waist. Dan blushed slightly and put down all his clothes in a pile and walked over to Phil, holding bandages.

“I don’t think I can put them on myself. Can you?” Dan mumbled and held out them for Phil.

“Of course love,” Phil smiled and grabbed them. Dan pulled up his towel and let Phil do his job (( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)). After Phil was done with the legs, he went to the arms, and then the cut on Dan’s face. After he was all done he planted a kiss on Dan’s forehead and walked over to his dresser. Phil pulled out a massive green sweatshirt and tossed it on the bed, “You can wear that, I think it’s the most color I own to be honest.”

“It’s perfect,” Dan giggled and threw it on. After he had it all the way on, he pull off the towel and carefully laid down on the bed. Phil smiled gently and laid next to Dan, letting Dan cuddle up. 

“We should probably talk about things,” Phil blurted out, knowing they needed to talk things over. Dan sat up hesitantly and looked at Phil, who was also sitting up. They both laid against the headboard of the bed and looked at each other. 

“Yeah, we probably should. Where do you wanna start?” Dan asked quietly. Phil could tell he was nervous so he slumped a arm around him and let Dan rest his head on his shoulder. 

“Probably from day 1, which I don’t really want to get into, but it’s necessary,” Phil huffed and looked in Dan’s beautiful brown eyes. Not getting a response from Dan, Phil continued, “When I first saw you, I knew you were special. I know that sounds super cheesy, but it’s true. But then I was my asshole self at the lockers, then in class, but then you did something nobody ever does. And that was standing up to my friends and I in class. I was kinds shocked to say the least, bt then I heard you talking to Pj at the lockers about your number. I saw you drop the piece of paper with your number on it and immediately leaned down, shoved it in my shoe, then acted like I was tying it. A bit stalkerish I know. Then After school when you were about to leave to walk home, you know what happened. I wasn’t planning on hitting you, I didn’t want to. But since I’m suppose to be the one tough guy, my friends said I needed to. So I did. And I regretted it before it even happened. I hated myself for being so much of a coward I couldn’t even stand up to my friends.” Phil took a breath and waited for Dan.

“Well wow. Um. I forgive you though. I know you did terrible things you shouldn’t have, but I forgive you,” Dan gave a weak smile and kissed Phil on the nose.

“You shouldn’t, I should be heartbroken right now and you should be laughing in my face. But no, I’m cuddled up with the most beautiful boy on planet earth right now. Not that i’m complaining.” Phil grinned towards the end. 

“I do though. I really do. You sent me things that I didn’t believe about myself. You said things that kept me going. I think I would’ve ended my life if you never texted me,” Dan was slightly tearing up now, but not really. Phil wiped away the stray tear with his thumb and held Dan’s face close. He leaned in and kissed extremely soft against Dan’s pink lips, as if he would break this boy. Dan kissed back, bringing his arms up and putting them around Phil’s neck again. Dan pulled himself onto Phil’s lap so that he was straddling him and Phil sat up completely straight. Phil let his hands rest on Dan’s bum. The kiss never got rough, it was just soft and loving. Suddenly, Phil pulled their lips apart.

“I’m so fucking lucky.” Phil whispered and looked into Dan’s eyes, seeing they were forehead to forehead. Dan saw a small tear escape Phil’s eyes, so he moved slightly and kissed it. He saw a blush form on Phil’s cheeks, making Dan blush as well. Instead of kissing him, Dan just hugged him tightly and shoved his face into Phil’s neck. Phil then brought his arms up and wrapped them around Dan’s back and pulled him even closer. They sat like this for awhile.

“What about at the party?” Dan said with a slight smirk against Phil’s neck. Phil turned slightly red just thinking about it, but he probably needed to explain himself. 

“Oh yeah, how could I forget. That wasn’t planned or anything, I just um you looked so fucking good and I was tipsy and then you said you’ve given a guy a blowjob before and I got slightly jealous, so I texted you and then you got a far bit excited, and when I saw you walking upstairs into the bathroom I knew what you were doing. So I snuck in and decided to help you out. I took off lip piercings because I didn’t want to give you any hints who I was. Also I mentally slapped myself for talking because I thought I gave it away. But then after you were done I darted out, completely sober by that point, and went outside and jerked myself off on the side of the house.” Phil was beet red and chuckled slightly.

“You wanked outside. Weren’t your balls fucking freezing?!” Dan pulled his head up and giggled, soon to get playful spank, making Dan jump slightly. Just adding to the giggles. 

“Yes, I thought my dick as going to fall off. I should’ve just stuck a hand down my pants when I was wanking you off. Your sounds were enough to get me there,” Phil leaned forward and kissed Dan a little rougher than before. Phil slipped his tongue in, Dan soon doing the same. Dan could taste the small metal ball on Phil’s tongue, but he didn’t mind. They were as close as they possibly could be, chest to chest. Phil hands were once again on Dan’s curvy butt, but this time squeezing harder. He heard a little gasp sound from Dan, making a low growl come from Phil. Dan couldn’t help but grind his hips down against Phil, whining against his lips in the process.

“Dan-” Phil was about to object, but Dan pushed his lips against his harder and ground down again, he could now feel Phil’s growing bulge. 

“P-Please d-d-don’t-t stop,” Dan whimpered and grinded faster. He was fully hard (again) by now and was starting to leak into his panties. Phil seemed to take notice, so he pulled back. Dan whined in return and looked at Phil with lust filled eyes.

“I’m going to make you feel good love,” Phil groaned and flipped Dan onto his back. Gently of course. Phil attached his lips to Dan’s sensitive neck and nipped and sucked at the old bruises, receiving loud whines from Dan. Phil grabbed the end of the sweatshirt and pulled it over Dan’s head, leaving him in just his panties. Phil groaned at the sight. Dan’s pink leaking head was just peaking out of his panties. Phil went back to Dan’s neck and snaked a hand down to palm Dan. Dan whimpered and shamelessly bucked into Phil’s hand. Phil slowly started going down Dan’s chest, leaving hickeys along the way. Dan instinctively spread his legs as Phil made his way down Dan’s exposed chest. 

“Philly,” Dan whined and rutted up against him. Phil chuckled lightly as he reached Dan’s panties. He mouthed over Dan’s outline, making Dan whimper. He slid down Dan’s underwear and tossed them away. He took a moment to just see the sight in front of him. Dan’s hair all curly, hickeys all over, his legs spread wide, and his cock all hard and leaking against his tummy. Phil leaned back down down and licked at stride down Dan’s cock, making Dan moan loudly. Phil shuffled more down on the bed and put both of his hands on Dan’s thighs to keep them spread wide before he leaned into Dan’s hole. Phil licked his hole quickly without warning, causing Dan to yelp and tangle his fingers in Phil’s hair.

“Phil Phil P-Phil,” Dan cried out as Phil’s tongue entered him slowly. Phil could tell this boy had fingered himself before seeing the little resistance there was for Phil’s tongue. Dan started pushing himself down onto Phil begging for more. Phil sensed Dan eagerness and ate him out harder and faster. His tongue brushed over Dan’s prostate, making Dan almost scream in pleasure. Dan tried to push his thighs together because the pleasure was becoming so much, but Phil just pushed them apart again. 

“I’m Clo--AH!” Dan cried and started bucking into nothing. Phil looked up at how needy Dan was and moved one hand off his thigh and started to jerk off Dan’s frustrated cock. Within seconds of touching him, Dan was cumming white ribbons all over his stomach and Phil’s hand. Phil stroked him thru it and pulled his mouth off. He quickly leaned over to his dresser and grabbed tissues and wiped Dan clean and his hand. 

“Was that okay?” Phil half-joked. Dan was still trying to catch his breath. He was basically panting. Dan did his best to sit up and look at Phil with half-lidded eyes. 

“That was more than fucking okay,” Dan responded. Phil sat there for a moment to see if Dan was going to offer to help him out with his own straining erection. But then Dan spoke up again, “Come here and cuddle. I’m sleppy.” 

“Okay then,” Phil huffed slightly and crawled up next to Dan and let Dan lay his head on his chest. Phil knew he was going to have to sneak off at some point and wank, but that would have to be some other time. Dan fell asleep rather quickly, so Phil slowly got up and walked out of the room. He was going to make breakfast, but first he had other things to take care of.

****  
(phil wanked and made breakfast to lay to write it)

Phil carefully made his way up the stairs and into his bedroom with a giant tray in his hands. Phil slowly got back onto the bed and sat up, pulling Dan onto his lap so that Dan’s back was to his chest. Phil pulled the tray-table thing over and placed it over Dan’s lap. Phil then kissed Dan’s cheek fiercely and chuckled. Dan woke up and smelled the pancakes right away.

“You made me pancakes! You’re the best boyfr-- you’re the best ever…” Dan stopped himself, not knowing what they were. Phil smiled against the back of Dan’s neck at his sentence. 

“Is that what you want?” Phil asked.

“What? Pancakes?”

“No you spoon.”

“But I want pancakes.”

“You are ridiculous! No, I mean us. Us being together… like boyfriends?” Phil moved his head so that it was resting on Dan’s shoulder now. 

“Yes I would love to, but we also need to talk about things…” Dan mumbled.

“So that’s a yes?”

“Yes.”

“WOOOOO DID YOU HEAR THAT WORD DAN FUCKING HOWELL IS MY BOYFRIEND! WOO--” Phil was stopped by a fork to his mouth with food on it.

“You’re such a freaking dork.”

“I’m your dork.”

“Oh my god stawp!” Dan blushed and hid his face in his hands.

“You love it.”

“Maybe a little too much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sry this took so long love y'all.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos/comments please loves<3  
> (I love comments)


End file.
